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Saying GoodBye to Shyness

Posted by Shawie | Thursday, November 13, 2008 | , | 2 Bloggers »


I admit, I’m a shy person. I don’t usually talk to strangers. I get very talkative once I get to know the person and so comfortable after a while. When I arrived here in the US, I had a hard time adjusting to the lifestyle. Most people I met even in grocery stores, malls or parking lots; they are so friendly and so warm.

Then, when time to meet my husband’s family- I wasn’t so sure on how to handle the situation. I never talked, I just listened. They might be thinking I’m weird and stuck.

According to reports "Shy people are very self-focused." They worry about whether they’re fine enough, elegant enough or likeable enough without stopping to consider that others might have the same insecurities than they do. Once shy people stop focusing on themselves, their shyness no longer controls them.

The Author, Leil Lowndes of "Good-Bye To Shy" unselfishly shared her tips for not just surviving but triumphing at holiday events.

Arrive While It's Still a Small Party

You don't like big parties? Most Shys don't at first. And normally they wouldn't dream of showing up early, because they prefer to disappear in the crowd. Yet crowds are the big threat! Solution? Get there when there are just a few people milling about. It's the perfect way to "make a big party small." You'll meet everyone there, so you will know people who can introduce you to others later.

Speak First

All that's required is, "I-li, my name is____. And yours?" Remember, people form an opinion of you in the first 10 seconds. Why waste the first five in uncomfortable silence waiting for them to greet you?

Sound Dazzled Over Dullest Things

No matter how boring your acquaintance's words’ may be, re¬spond as though that person just made the most enthralling revelation you've heard all week. Then you'll sound interesting to your listener. Conversely, no matter how boring you think your own statement is, present it in a this-is-the-greatest thing-since-Velcro tone. And guess what? It will sound interesting to the other person.

Use Names- In Moderation

Say someone's name in greeting and parting. It makes him or her feel more connected to you. But beware: If you use it too much, it will sound fake or come across as a nervous habit.

Ask "Keep Talking" Questions

Leave uh-huh and okay behind and throw out some who? what? when? where? why? and how? questions. Your conversational companion will be thrilled that you want to hear more-and you won't feel pressured to come up with convivial and clever responses.

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2 Bloggers

  1. Shinade // November 22, 2008 12:44 PM  

    oh my Shawie I didn't know you had this blog.

    The pictures are wonderful. Thank you so much for stopping n and visiting today.

    I hope you and your wonderful husband are having a delightful weekend!!:-)

  2. Mel Alarilla // December 18, 2008 3:10 PM  

    Ha, you're already an expert Shawie when it comes to partying. What a long way you have gone since arriving in America. You are finally settled down there. Nawala na yung nerbiyos and uncertainties and your good side is finally showing. I'm glad you are finally settled down with your life there. Thanks for the informative post. Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year to you and your loved ones. God bless you always.

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